Do I really have to make a joke here? I don’t think it’s necessary. I mean, have you seen this commercial? No joke necessary. Seriously. I’m going to take the high road on this one. I’m going to be the bigger man. 2 ½ lbs. bigger. I’m sure this commercial has already been a handful. A real load to bear. A real, warm load to bear. But, hey, no batteries required. There is one thing I’m skeptical about: only six minutes a day? Ladies, trust me on this one, the more time you put in, the better the results. But, seriously, I won’t make any penis jokes. JOKES. Any jokes.

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