When I woke up this morning, I had no idea that I’d be auditioning for Nickelodeon executives, and I have two key people to thank: my friend Anna for passing the audition information on to me, and my agent Ron for getting me on the inside and setting up the appointment.

It all started yesterday. I got to Chelsea Studios early so I could have a moment to relax before I went in for the Nickelodeon Presents: Storytime Live! audition. I sang Those Magic Changes from GREASE! and Endless Night from The Lion King. They liked my voice so they gave me some sides to look over. They called me back in after a few minutes of pacing and mumbling awkwardly to myself in the hall. I read the sides, took the director’s notes (always take the motes!), re-read the sides and then they invited me to stay for the dance call. I foolishly left all my dance gear (I say it like I actually have dance gear) at home and I didn’t have enough time to run back and get it, so I danced in my audition clothes. You ever hear of that old theatre adage “fake it til you make it”? It works. I am not a dancer. But dammit I looked good last night. My bare feet weren’t always doing the right thing and my technique was definitely lacking, but my face proved otherwise and the lines and stage pictures I hit put me over the edge. They emailed me later that night and asked me to come in the following day.

When I went in today I did the exact same audition. Twice. They gave me one new side to look at (My name is Moose A. Moose. But you can just call me Moose.) and after I read it they sent me home. I’m trying to email my agent the whole way home, but sometimes my phone acts up when I’m at Chelsea Studios, and then I was underground on the train, so whatever. I get home, to take my stuff off, pour a bowl of cereal (my first meal of the day), and I get a voicemail from Ron. They wanted me back at Chelsea Studios as soon as possible to read for another part so I raced back and read. While waiting in the hall the director comes out and tells us that we’re it. He’s seen so many people and we made it all the way. He’s casting from those of us chillin out in the hall and that we’ve made his job “very, very difficult.” Then he tells us that over the next few minutes or so the room is going to fill up with a bunch of people from Nickelodeon. He assures us that the audition is over, that we are the cream of the crop, and that the Nickelodeons don’t have any say over who does and who doesn’t get cast, but that they just need to see us for themselves. So we all go back in, one by one, and audition. I mean, seriously? I don’t care what he says. We were singing and reading sides in front of Nickelodeon execs and they were talking about us behind closed doors. It was an audition.

I wish I’d worn a tie.

They asked me to prepare a lot of material (in total 3 songs and 7 sides), but they were running about 15 minutes behind schedule and said there was no way we’d get to everything. We started with “Purpose,” an upbeat, inspirational song that Princeton sings about finding his purpose in life. I’m really glad I got to sing that song because it’s the story of this chapter of my life, and it’s a song that I can truly connect to. Afterwards I read most of the sides and sang “Schadenfreude.” I got a lot of notes and took every single one.

Just a quick note on notes: when you get them, shut your mouth. Listen. If you understand, say ok. If you don’t, get clarification. And then, and this is very important, do what you are told to do. It doesn’t matter whether or not you agree with the note. It doesn’t matter if you think your character would never do whatever it is you’re being told to do. If you are getting the note, take it, and give them exactly what they’re asking for. And, please, lose the attitude. You wanna score easy brownie points during your audition? Take the note. That’s it. Have I harped on this enough?

So I was getting and taking notes, right? Well, what’s that mean? That means that, all of a sudden, we’re working together. We’re collaborating. We’re auditioning, sure, but now it’s more than that. We’re creating art. And the director stops. He puts down his pen. And he says “Put a puppet on him.” I was so stoked! I had heard all these fun stories of people going off to puppet camp and here I was about to work with a puppet right away! Lemme tell you, those puppets are easy to manipulate, but very difficult to master. Once again I was getting notes and putting them to work, and by the end of the audition I was singing “Purpose” with Princeton on my arm.

I look back on this experience and I’m overjoyed. I worked my ass off to get there and, yeah, I obsessed over line readings and vocal flourishes but it all paid dividends in the end. I don’t know when they’ll contact me. Or if they even will. I really didn’t think I’d get this far. But now I know that I can. I gave it my best and I’m proud of what that is. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who believed in me and cheered me on. Knowing that you were behind me made me feel like I had an added advantage that no one else had. You made me feel invincible.

Uncle Scar says be prepared, but I think I’ve gone off the deep end. I almost need to detox, you know, get Avenue Q out of my system. Besides, it’s not like I’m in the show, or that all the prep is going to guarantee that I get the role. By this point I’ve proven that I can do it, now it’s all about the rest of the “stuff” that needs to work out for me. I need to have the right look, or I need to be tall enough, or whatever. There’s so much that goes into casting a show that has absolutely nothing to do with an actor’s talent or an actor’s ability to play the part.

So is all of this prep for nothing? No way! There’s such a thing as being too prepared. I still don’t have a job, so, it passes the time. But am I driving myself out of my mind in the process? Yes. Yes I am. But that’s me. And I know that’s me. And I know that I need to do this so that I’ll feel prepared in the room. I still psyche myself out about auditions, so it’s good for me to know that I’ve done everything that I could do to give myself the best chance in the room. I can’t guarantee that this prep will land me Princeton or Gary Coleman or any role in the show for that matter, but I can guarantee that, because of this prep, I’ll know the fuck out of my sides and songs, and that’ll give me enough confidence to overcome my own audition fears.

My friend Jon told me about the EPA they were holding June 9. We didn’t really think they were casting from them, and our former director, Michael Legg, knew the casting associate, Adam Caldwell, who was running the auditions. We thought, hey, this is great, it’s gonna be so low key, no pressure. But I really wasn’t feeling prepared the night before the audition, and instead of going in there and bombing I decided to just sit the whole thing out. Luckily, Jon talked me out of that idea and into singing an old standby piece. Why so lucky?

We arrived at the Equity building at 7:30 a.m. and waited in line for an hour and some change. I was the fourth EMC on the list, but you know how auditions go, the Equity people get to pick the time they want to audition and the EMCs just fill in the gaps. To my surprise I got in the room around 11:30 and I sang “Those Magic Changes” from GREASE!

Ok, hold up. I just have to take a moment right now to give mad props to the accompanist — he was fantastic. I’ve never heard the music played that way (I have never heard that song before) and no one has every followed me more musically/lyrically/artistically than him (but if I don’t hear it anymore). The moment he started playing the pretense of “auditioning” melted away (it’s still familiar to me). All of a sudden I was performing (sends a thrill right through me). And if you know me, you know how much I love to perform. And I nailed it. I nailed that audition. Too bad they weren’t casting for anything, right?

As it turns out, Cindy Tolan Casting, the people running the EPA, were casting for the national tour of Avenue Q. The male auditions were June 18. Ladies, you can still audition June 22. A few days after the EPA I got a call from Cindy Tolan Casting. They set me up with an appointment audition for the tour and they wanted me to look at the part of Gary Coleman. They emailed me “Schadenfreude” and three sides. For those of you who don’t know, that’s huge! Because I had an appointment I didn’t have to go to the cattle call. Remember, I’m just EMC, and there is a good chance I won’t get seen at cattle calls if a bunch of Equity people show up. Avenue Q is a hot show. You know people are gonna show up in droves. In fact, reports from my friend Jon said they were typing people out of the audition, turning them away before they even signed up. So here I was with a guaranteed-to-be-seen card, and, just like before, it was gonna be me, the awesome accompanist, and Adam.

Alright. Now’s probably a good time to mention my uncanny ability to get inside my own head and freak myself out when it comes to auditions. I know they’re a regular part of the job and that everybody does them, but somehow, sometimes I still psyche myself out. This time around I adopted a new approach. I was invited to audition, right? And Adam made sure that I had an appointment, right? He wanted to see me before the show was cast, right? So all I really had to do was not suck.

So I didn’t suck. I mean I was really good at not sucking. My not sucking could kick your not sucking’s ass any day. Next Friday? 3:00 o’clock. Playground. Be there.

Seriously, the atmosphere in the room was easy like Sunday morning. We had a great time. We laughed, we talked, and somewhere in there we held an audition. A few hours later I got another call from Cindy Tolan Casting. They were calling me back, but this time they wanted me to look at Gary Coleman and Princeton. They sent me two more songs and four more sides. The callback is scheduled for Tuesday. I have a lot of prep to do in the meantime. Maybe it’s actually a good thing that I STILL DON’T HAVE A JOB (that’s another post entirely..). If you’re around and would like to help me run lines or listen to the music then I’d love to hear from you. I’ll take all the help I can get.